Free to Be…You and Me

Conceived by Marlo Thomas

Copyright 1974

I’ve been thinking about this book a lot lately.  While I still had the accompanying record album, I wasn’t sure what happened to the original book that my mother bought for the three of us youngest children.  Recently, I came across a used copy and memories came flooding back.  I had perused this book and listened to the album many times growing up. 

Free to Be… You and Me is a collection of stories, poems, and songs that celebrate diversity and individuality and challenge stereotypes.   

Paging through the book, I remember my mother’s favorites.  

She loved the story of William’s Doll, based on a book by Charlotte Zolotow.  Five year old William wanted his own doll to take care of.  His best friend, his cousin, and his brother all teased him for being a sissy.  His father bought him all sorts of sporting equipment, which William used and enjoyed, but still, he wanted a doll.  Finally, William’s Grandma saves the day, buys the doll, and sets the rest of the family straight.  Of course William should have a doll.  Shouldn’t he know how to lovingly care for a baby?  After all, someday he may be a daddy.

Perhaps as a mother of six boys, my mother realized the importance of encouraging her sons become nurturing adults.  

Her other favorite was a poem by Sheldon Harnick titled Housework.  The author wonders why, in the ads on TV, a woman is always scouring the dishes, scrubbing the tub, or cleaning the stove or the sink with a great big smile on her face.  That woman, of course, is just a paid actress.  Housework, after all, is just no fun.  The poem ends with

                
               Little boys, little girls,

               when you’re big husbands and wives,
               if you want all the days of your lives
               to seem sunny as summer weather
               make sure, when there’s housework to do,
               that you do it together.

It’s funny how I didn’t care for this poem at all as a child, yet now I completely get it!

The story I remember most – the one that surprised me at the time with its message – is Atalanta.

Atalanta is a princess.  Like most princess stories, the problem that needs to be solved is who Atalanta is going to marry.  So many young men wished to marry this bright, clever, talented princess that her father didn’t know who to choose for her. (Note that physical beauty is not mentioned.)

“You don’t have to choose, Father,” Atalanta said.  “I will choose.  And I’m not sure that I will choose to marry anyone at all.”

The king wasn’t happy with this comment and decides to hold a race to decide who will marry his daughter.  The fastest runner will win the right to her hand.

 Clever girl that she is, Atalanta enters the race herself – and ties for first with John, a young man from town.

 Her father decides to give the prize to him since he came closest to winning.  John, smart man that he is, did not wish to win Atalanta in this way.  He only wished for a chance to speak with the bright young woman he admired.  They spent the day together, enjoyed each other’s company and became friends.  The next day, John sailed off to discover new lands and Atalanta set off to visit great cities.  They each had wonderful adventures and lived happily ever after.

 Free to be you and me encourages each child to imagine their own future free of cultural stereotypes.  I’m so grateful for this lesson.  I’m not sure if I said this 40 years ago, so I’ll say it now - thanks for the book and record, Mom.